I am about to enter a new phase of life, and my emotions have been swelling. I try to stay grounded, but the sensitive side of me keeps surfacing, pulling me back and forth between tension and excitement. Then today I watched a video commemorating the martyr Wang Wei, and the tears just broke through.

I am not even sure if I was crying for him or for myself. The atmosphere of collective remembrance is moving, of course, but in that instant when emotion rushed up, what flashed through my mind were fragments of memory from the past few days—I saw my own reflection.

These past few days I have been holding my emotions down, waiting for the "right time" to let them out. But emotions do not seem to follow a schedule; they only look for a crack to break through.

A person willing to give his life for duty and country has a kind of courage and sacrifice that can breach any defense. When people remember martyrs, perhaps they are also reaffirming something simple and essential in moments like this. I think anyone who loves their own country can relate, at least a little.

I still cannot talk to my friends about what I have been through these past few days with a calm heart. Maybe because the emotion has not settled yet, or maybe some feelings were never meant to be fully expressed.